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mercoledì 28 maggio 2008

Panem et circenses

Obnubilate dalla pioggia, dopo una settimana di diluvio universale in cui avevo iniziato seriamente ad identificarmi con noè (ma questo merita un altro post), io e la Gina ci siamo convinte di stare al mare. Scartata l'idea di girare direttamente in costume,abbiamo deciso di sfogare la nostra indole marittima sul cibo. Fish, of course.
Ci siamo trovate subito d'accordo sul menù, visto che eravamo entrambe attanagliate da un'insana, inspiegabile, parossistica..VOGLIA DI FRITTO MISTO.
Assoldato il cuoco(Mr. LeBon) e scelta la location (casa mia in quanto le coinquiline della Gina non amano l'odore di fritto e i barbudos di Mr.LeBon amano fin troppo quello che definirei comunismo gastronomico) i giochi erano fatti.
Ottimo.
Ottimo sta minchia!(perdonate il francesismo, eh)
Purtroppo la Gina soffre di un inspiegabile patologia che la porta a reggere l'alcool una sera si e una no e quella, ahinoi, era una di quelle no.
Così, con un bicchiere di Grillo di troppo (da cui il detto "Meno Grillo per la testa")e una ventina di seppie in mano-una delle quali il mattino dopo mi ha dato il buongiorno occhieggiando tristemente da una tazza da tè- La Gina si è prodotta in una serie di esaltanti performances, comprendenti un'interessante danza del ventre-sadomaso, con tanto di asciugapiatti/frustino, diversi minuti di insulti a kylie minogue e infarinatura "al volo" del pesce.
(Per essere onesti nel frattempo io limonavo con un limone, quindi tanto a posto non dovevo essere pure io)
Della serata, trascorsa mangiando con le mani e facendoci reciprocamente lascive proposte sessuali (P."Limoniamo?" G. "No copuliamo direttamente, Mr LeBon vattene!") si ricordano inoltre notevoli momenti espressivi della povera Gina, stordita da sostanze di varia ed eventuale natura (...)..anche se più che SI ricordano dovrei dire MI ricordo, visto che la mia acida metà sostiene CANDIDAMENTE di ricordarsi poco o niente.

Siore e siori venghino,direttamente da Bologna, altro che Real Tv....In tutto il loro alcolico splendore, le chicche della serata:

LaPina (guatando Mr.LeBon con aria intenerita)"ohhhh simon come sei paterno..(un minuto di riflessione)..vorresti essere il mio donatore di sperma?"

LaGina(affacciandosi alla finestra della mia cucina, e dunque sulla via più affollata di Bologna) :
"Viva il pisello!"

LaG &LaP ogni dieci minuti:"Simon esci, che dobbiamo limonare"
Basito, ad un certo punto il povero ragazzo è uscito dalla cucina, rientrando un secondo dopo
"ma non dovevate limonare?"
La Gina"Già fatto, tutto a posto siamo venute 27 volte a testa"

(dopo questa iniziavo veramente ad avere paura della Gina, che abitualmente è una candida fanciulla timorata di Dio)

"Buona questa torta bio...(dopo 20 secondi)...oddio un po' insipida(dopo 10 secondi) ma è così sanaaa...(1 secondo dopo)Pina, fa schifo.Non ha qualcosa che faccia male e sia buono?"

E infine la migliore:
Pina"Tesoro, sei sbronza?"
Gina "Vaffanculo Pina!"
Pina"Più tardi.."
Gina "uhm...hai un transessuale negro nell'armadio?"(giurin giuretto, ha detto esattamente questo)
Pina(memore dell'insegnamento paterno per cui ai matti e agli ubriachi bisogna sempre dar ragione)"...certo!"

Gina barcolla verso l'armadio, ci infila la testa e urla, ad uso e consumo dell'universo mondo sveglio a quell'ora"Oh preparati, che dopo devi inc*****e la Pina!!"

Io e Mr.LeBon ci guardiamo allibiti

La Gina"che c'è da guardare?Gli dovevo pur dire di prepararsi!"

L'insegnamento che possiamo trarne?
In vino magari non sempre è veritas ma demenza sicuramente..

49 commenti:

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siete semplicemente meravigliose!!
posso adottarvi?? anzi.. adottatemi p ure voi! ;-)

LaGina ha detto...

Siiii noi adottiamo tutti quelli che ci vogliono bene e a cui piace fare festa con noi!!! Poi viste le mie uscite da sbronza, credo che ora farete tutti a gara a somministrarmi dosi alcoliche per vedere che effetto fanno :D

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@queenice:adottaci!!

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Devo dire che come sbronza è notevole.

LaGina ha detto...

Si, am la cosa brutta è che, per quanto mi sforzi, mi ricordo meno della metà delle cose che ho fatto ...

La Lunga ha detto...

MITICHE!!!!! comunque la prossima volta per la mia tristezza non mi affogo nè nell'unto nè nell'alcol, mi faccio invitare da voi... e non stiamo neanche lontane!

LaGina ha detto...

Siii, ti organizziamo un party anti-depressione :D attenta però, perchè se capiti nella giornata che siamo depresse noi due ... ti becchi una scofanata di gelato & altre porcherie pro-buon umore

EmisFear ha detto...

Deve essere stata proprio una seratona! Peccato che se la ricordi solo una di voi due...ahah...!

Beh...è una situazione tipica anche per me...e di solito sono quello che non ricorda nulla...:D

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LaPina ha detto...

@emisfear:la cosa buffa è che in realtà di solito è LaGina che porta a casa me bollita...l'evento rovesciato mi sembrava degno di nota!
@la lunga.sei ufficialmente invitata a una delle nostre serate scoscio&deboscio, di meglio non c'è!

Rainwoman ha detto...

quanto ho riso!!! mi ricorda qualcosa....ed io di solito porto a casa gli altri

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